SNaP Chapter 1: Kindergarten Rules      
        Leadoff chapter for second edition  of the  
        Sacred Nonaggression Principle
         
        
        In case you missed the first cut on the next edition—posted as an article, Space Lizards and Pod People a couple of months ago—here's the latest Chapter One. I have not given up on the SNaP; in fact I'm more convinced than ever it represents the spiritual salvation of the species. Please help me make the best case possible by commenting on this column by sending me an email or subscribing and commenting to the Coffee Coaster blog. Thank you.  
      — Brian Wright   
Getting Started: Kindergarten Lessons  
            Some simple rules of childhood lead to big truths
      Summary
          
            Leading  off with axioms[1] of proper behavior that hail from the maxims most humans learn from our  earliest days: 1) Don’t hit, 2) Don’t steal, 3) Don’t lie. Let us respect, even  ‘worship,’ these ideas as adults.  
            
          
             
           
          The above  definition of aggression is fairly conventional in libertarian circles, and  banning “the initiation of physical force” uses phrasing from the nonfictional  writings of Ayn Rand and her  supporters. It is very precise wording that leaves little room for  misunderstanding as to what aggression is or is not. 
           Let’s Pretend We’re  Five-Year-OldsRemember in the Tom Hanks’ movie Philadelphia,  the attorney character played by Denzel Washington. He is investigating the  conduct of Hanks’ company, the nature of the AIDS disease, and applicable law.  When Denzel thinks some authority he’s questioning is being obtuse or trying to  snow him, he says “Hey, pretend I’m a five-year old.” In other words, don’t  beat around the bush, give me the facts in plain English a child can  understand. No baloney stuff.
           Conveniently, the basic idea I’m trying to  convince you of in the book is something most of us learned when we were five years old: The  Kindergarten Rules
          What is aggression?  I’ve found that the best starting point comes from a marvelous book by Mr.  Robert Fulghum entitled, All I Really  Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten. The book is a collection of some of  his life experiences, from which he usually distills a moral. In the  principal story, he tells us that kindergarten taught him the following:
           
            Don’t hit 
  Don’t steal 
  Be honest (don’t lie, keep promises)
        
      Sure, there are several other related lessons Fulghum  remembers from kindergarten—such as cleaning up your mess, putting things back  where you find them, washing your hands, flushing, etc. But Fulghum’s  Kindergarten Rules have been popularized among journalists and pundits as  common-sense moral ideals. 
        
      
      
 So where did “the Rules” come from, and what makes  them so special? I write from an American context, and my possibly parochial[2] judgment  is that the Kindergarten Rules are a distillation, for children, of the  fundamental truths embedded in the country’s founding: the Inalienable Rights  of Man and equality before the law. Since it is right for every  individual to take action required for life and happiness, let no one  else—especially the state—wrong the individual by forcibly  interfering with those actions… by aggressing upon or coercing the individual.  In a child’s world, aggression or coercion are primally seen as “hitting,  stealing, or lying.” Moral Tenets
      Religious and secular-philosophic foundations  also exist for ingraining the Rules in kids’ minds. The Abrahamic  religions—Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—all enjoin[3] stealing…  whether the object of theft is a golden chalice or carnal knowledge[4] with  someone else’s wife. (They also proscribe killing, unless God gives you the green light to snuff out a nonbeliever.) 
       All great systems of moral thought require  as a minimum that you follow the Golden Rule (at least among your own people).  Accordingly, the formal, enforceable rules of conduct—i.e. laws—in every civil  society are based on each individual at least being able to keep his stuff from  being ripped off by the force or fraud of other individuals. Then—as we proceed  thru the Enlightenment’s concept of liberty—monarchs, oligarchs,[5] and  governments are also restricted from taking your things or infringing on the  peaceful being of you.
       
        The latter  paragraph expresses reasons for practicing the adult principle—the  nonaggression principle—but it’s easy to see how these reasons apply on the  playground: “Johnny,” the teacher says, “I think you can see by not starting the use of force (that is,  hitting Joey, taking lunch money from Sam, or turning in Lisa’s homework as  your own) your world becomes better. Not only do you escape punishment from me;  other children will give you the same respect you give them.” [Granted, the  communication of this truth is seldom accomplished, for a child of that age, in  such a conceptual statement, rather by perceptual methods via nods, frowns, and  so on.] 
        
      Core Values
      Closely related to the moral premises[6] of civil  societies that disallow aggression—premises that the Kindergarten Rules  engender—are the “sacred” values that all good citizens in a given society  intuitively understand and accept. In the United States today there’s even a  “Core Values” movement, but let’s just pick some of the standard phrases that  we regard as key American values:
       
        - Rule of law
 
        - Equality of rights
 
        - Life,  liberty, and property
 
        - Popular sovereignty
 
        - Separation of powers
 
        - Sanctity of  family
 
        - Home as a castle
 
        - Justice is impartial
 
        - No legal privileges
 
        - Respect  for (valid) authority
 
        - Honoring our (wise, moral) elders
 
       
      And so on. The  logical path from the behavioral axioms of childhood, the Kindergarten Rules,  leads thru religious tenets and core values to the prescription for the Big  Universal Problem (BUP)… that we spoke of, before. That prescription (cure) for  the BUP is, indeed, the simple nonaggression principle.  Growing Up to the  Nonaggression RuleAs we put away childish things, and if we’ve largely abided  by the Kindergarten Rules as we grow up, then the adoption of the nonaggression  principle as adults becomes second nature to us. 
        
  
      
      As an all-American thought experiment, please consider, out of all  the people you’ve met in your adult life from every social station, how many  would steal directly from another human being… or beat them or defraud them:  How many? One in a hundred? One in a thousand?  My experience is fewer than one  in a thousand… certainly when one considers the actual act of stealing  something. [The ratio may approach one in ten, if we’re talking about trying to  get the best deal in a barter, for example, by not being fully candid. But even  there, my experience is 9 out of 10 adopt the ‘open kimono’ policy when making  a deal.] The point is—whether the number of persons is 1/100 or 1/1000—darned  few of us believe in or practice one-on-one, human-to-human aggression.  Moreover, the average person absolutely detests anyone who would intentionally  commit the smallest act of assault, theft, or dishonesty.  Thus, as Americans,  as a consequence of the Kindergarten Rules, then later as we embrace—through  moral tenets and core values—those rules more conceptually in the form of the  nonaggression principle, we overwhelmingly will  not directly initiate force against another. I repeat, 99.9% of Americans,  one on one, will not aggress upon  another and despise the 0.1% who would. Not Under Any Circumstances
      Let’s  return to kindergarten and recall that a key element in the teaching of the  Rules was “no wiggle room.” In other words, Johnny didn’t get a special  allowance to use Lisa’s homework on only one particularly difficult problem… or  ½ a problem or ¼ a problem. Or let’s say he “meant well” and his parents assert  convincingly that the community will be wondrously benefited by Johnny  receiving an A on his report card. Nope. Under the Kindergarten Rules, such  shading, quibbling, and evasion don’t cut the mustard. Life is simple, Sherlock,  don’t aggress. The idea of “no exceptions” is closely tied to the adult  practice of the nonaggression principle, too. In our thought experiment, do you  think any of the 999 people care one whit that someone’s sad childhood gives  him a craving to hurt others. Not at all; we all have to play by the same  rules. So long as you wish to remain in society, the nonaggression principle is  an absolute. Indeed, a willingness to abide by the nonaggression principle is  the condition a society typically applies to the right of enjoying freedom. No  Privileged OnesI remember once in fifth grade when the teacher accosted me  for disrupting the class, I pointed to my partner in disruption and said, “What  about Suzy? She started it!” I admit it’s not a great example; I was basically  ratting out my friend… and a girl at that. What a wimp! [Plus it didn’t turn  out well: the teacher was a reform-school psycho who grabbed me by my  shirtfront and threw me out the door like a shuffleboard weight.] The idea is  nobody should be exempt from the Rules simply because he’s a teacher’s pet  or—in Grownupville—because he/she provides special personal services for a  policeman, prosecutor, judge, or politician. More broadly, consistent with the  country’s founding, no “titles of nobility” shall be granted… one group cannot  subordinate another group.  
         
        Legal equality = core value.
 QED[7]We have  the Kindergarten Rules (KRs) for children and the nonaggression principle (NaP)  for everyone. It is straightforward to show that a) the KRs—practiced absolutely  and equally—result in the best of all possible political worlds for children,  and b) the NaP—practiced consistently and equally—results in the best of all  possible political worlds for everyone. The remainder of the book describes how. 
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               [1] An axiom is a self-evident truth that  supports other truths. 
            
            
              [2] Parochial means local or confined to one’s  own part of the larger world, it suggests narrow mindedness. 
            
              [3] To enjoin is to forbid, to prohibit. 
            
              [4] Sexual intercourse, the horizontal mambo, the  Bodie-O-Doh.  
           
              [5] An oligarchy is a system where a few people  rule the many. 
            
              [6] A “premise” is a beginning statement in a  “proof.”  For example, “We need to all  get along” can be considered the premise  the argument that, “It is best  that I not club Larry over the head with a baseball bat.” 
            
              [7] Abbreviation for quod erat demonstrandum, Latin for “which was to be demonstrated (proved).” 
               
              2009 November 16  
        Copyright © Brian Wright | The Coffee Coaster™  
      Sacred Nonaggression Principle | Liberty | Core Values | Kindergarten Rules 
      
        
        
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