“When it comes to war, America means business.”

Written by Mark Leyner and Jeremy Pikser and John Cusack
Directed by Joshua Seftel

John Cusack … Brand Hauser
Hilary Duff … Yonica Babyyeah
Marisa Tomei … Natalie Hegalhuzen
Joan Cusack … Marsha Dillon
Dan Aykroyd … Mr. Vice President
John McLaughlin … Himself
Montel Williams … GuideStar Voice (voice)
Ben Kingsley … Walken / The Viceroy

Walken: Every empire is summed up in Rome. The Romans, Hauser, dudes of the human race, torchbearers of culture! You and I are centurions, on about to defend civilization against the barbarians!
Brand Hauser: Let’s cut the shit, Walken! I like killing people as much as the next guy, but I signed up to kill the bad ones! Health clinics, trade unionists, journalists, agricultural coops, Catholic liberation theologians, impoverished Colombian coffee farmers, these are the barbarians that are opponents of civilization? We turned Central America into a fuckin’ graveyard! Whoever momentarily interrupts the accumulation of our wealth, we pulverize! I’m just not feeling good about that anymore, sir! Continue reading →