Brian’s Column: Whither the Libertarian Party/LPM?

Some thoughts from The Truman Prophecy

vulturePerformance-driving enthusiast, automotive engineer, and 30-something go-getter Ypsi Sam, a few years ago when he lived in Flint, had spent an unconscionable amount of time (and several hundred dollars of his own money) trying to bring some semblance of, well, normal middle-class, dual-gender, all-age, outreach-oriented appeal to the Genesee County LP affiliate. Only to be met with harsh rejection by the forces of what seemed a bizarre sect of Goth-Voluntaryist-Anarchist-Nihilist national boys’ clubs.

The Genesee Boys’ Club, despite its members’ eternal harangues for Purity of Anarchist Essence—no compromise with any institution or instrument of ‘Existing Coercive Government’ at any level or for any reason—sought to take over the state LP, which of course is a political party whose objective is to run candidates for office in ‘Existing Coercive Government.’ And none of these boy wonders saw the contradiction.

Before their planned grand ascendancy into the upper echelons of power and glory of the state party, they made sure their affiliate base in Flint was iron solid. Ypsi Sam wandered into their meeting lair at the Man Cave Bar & Grill on Saginaw Street back in 2011. They even had a woman, Sheila, working with them for a while. Sheila actually did everything that needed, you know, doing… newsletter, Webwork, notices, setting up the speakers, greeting guests, being friendly. But she got tired of trying to pull the cart with these self-righteous deadbeats weighing it down, and left.

Ypsi helped Sheila for a while, and seeing that the group was floundering in the PR department—the meeting room was dingy and dark, a guest would walk in and wonder if he’d mistakenly stumbled into a local casting call for Night of the Living Dead: The Next Generation (except there were hardly ever any females). While Sheila was still there, Sam threw in ~$1200 to get a professional Website upgrade. The Boys gave Ypsi plenty of line, saying how much they appreciated his work, all the while staying their grim, apocalyptic course into Michigan power elitedom.

AnarchistChance felt for the young man, Ypsi, that is. Chance had also had some strange encounters with ringleaders 1 and 2, Witchdoctor and Attila, respectively. Most memorable, Chance cited an Ayn Rand aphorism in a Facebook post: “morality ends where a gun begins.” To which Witchdoctor eloquently replied, “Rand’s a dick.” (!?) Attila had his own set of headscratchers, and liked to throw in the f-word a lot. Their ideal society? Bunch o’ guys sit around a table, dimly lit room, high, pirating tunes and flicks, and giggling uncontrollably while scratching the Anarchist sign under the placemats.

Anyway, Ypsi left the party ~2012. Chance hung on ‘til 2015. The LPM Old Guard had also abandoned ship. Leaving a few well-meaning newbies, basically without any help, wholly outgunned by the Gotharchist Boys. Chance’s humble view: The LP fulfilled its mission (libertarian legitimacy)… by ~1988. It has not reinvented its strategy to account for the New World Order and the Threat Matrix. Therefore it remains in its original NWO sandbox. Time to declare as valid, even heroic, the ‘little victories’ we true believers created w/her during the heyday. It’s a dead horse now; the vultures win.

But Chance is not omniscient and if any year can pull of a miracle, maybe it will be 2016.

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